Love makes the world go round, they say. While, I agree with that; I believe that love is manifested in giving. Giving of time, energy, effort, you name it. There aren’t many things that we love that we don’t give to, am I right?

You love your pet, so you take them on walks or buy them treats. That’s the giving of time and gifts.

You love video games or hiking- you spend time and pour energy into your hobbies, because you love doing them.

You love your partner/family/friends and you probably show up for them by listening, celebrating birthdays, giving of thoughtful gifts; that’s the giving of quality time, gifts and affirmation; you get the idea.

Today’s blog post is going to focus on The 5 Love languages; and everything you need to know.

What are the 5 love languages and what do they mean?

The 5 love languages was developed in 1995 by Gary Chapman; a relationship expert. He believes that the 5 love languages is an effective way to strengthen connections in relationships. I believe that connections need time and attention to grow and maintain and without that; relationship cannot flourish the way that they need in order to trhive.

The 5 love languages:

The 5 love languages are ways we as humans express and receive love. The 5 categories are:

Physical Touch: This love language is beyond sexual in nature. It could be offering a hug after someone’s had a long day. Random touches; arms around the shoulder, cuddling, holding hands while driving or taking a walk. For people whose love language is physical touch, they likely value and find their partner’s presence comforting.

Acts of Service: This love language could look like doing things for others to take a load off. It could be making dinner when you know your partner has had a long day. It could also look like doing the dishes or offering to complete a task that relieves the emotional load.

Words of Affirmation: This love language is when you give and receive verbal compliments or meaningful affirmations. That lets you feel seen and acknowledged. It may be as simple as a compliment on your outfit or your strength such as being a good listener or giving the best hugs.

Gifts: This love language is often misunderstood. Giving of gifts does not neccassarily mean expensive gifts. It could be small thoughtful gifts or things that are tailored to a person. For example: Gifting someone a pickleball set to support their interests. It also shares, that you listen and pay attention.

Quality Time : This is when you value one on one interactions to feel seen and heard. That may look like going on a coffee date, a walk, spending time on the sofa, talking. This love language also means, giving uninterrupted time, by being present, engaged, off of devices to give your full attention.

Why is it important to know your love language and those of others around you.

It helps you articulate your needs in relationships so that others can show up for you in the way that best suits you; allows you to be seen and heard. Knowing the love language of others also allows you to speak their love language and love them in a way that allows them to feel seen and heard by you and vice versa.

What happens if your love language is different than your partners? The purpose of the 5 love language isn’t to demand that others speak your language, rather creating space for learning how to be adaptable to how other’s receive love.

Not sure what your love language is? Take the quiz here to find out.

Navigating relationship issues and concerns? Feel free to use the scheduler at the top of our site to schedule a free consult to see if we might be a good fit.